The world on a stick
"Dear God," cried Dave, "hear my prayer!"Praying was normal for Dave. What wasn't normal was for God to answer. "Yes, what is it?"
"Er, I am your most devoted servant." Dave was a little thrown by having someone listen to his prayers. That wasn't part of the deal, was it? He struggled for the righteous flow that usually took his prayers on for hours. God leapt into the gap.
"Are you really? Are you really? I must admit I've let things slide over the past few years. You wouldn't lie to me, would you? Lying to a deity is a serious offence."
Dave dragged his hand down his face, a sort of full face have-I-shaved manouvre. "No - I mean, don't you know? I thought you knew everything?"
God chuckled, "no, no. How boring would that be? Terribly boring - I know because I tried it once and then had to forget a ton of stuff to make it exciting again. Anyway, I'm busy building another planet so what can I do for you? Is there something you would like?"
Dave was still struggling. If everyone went around having their prayers answered all the time where would we be then? What one thing did he want, had he always wanted that he couldn't get for himself by the good old-fashioned Christian work ethics and morals he had. By definition anything he couldn't have he shouldn't want. "I always thought it would be wonderful to be the king of the world." He smiled apologetically at his weak joke.
"You want the world?"
"On a stick."
"I'm afraid that wouldn't work at all. However, if you can take it off my hands without a stick, it's all yours."
Dave have-I-shaved again. "I can have the world?"
"Yes, sure... Oh my word! It's off again! Tectonic plates are a necessary evil, but... Look I'm going to have to go and drag that plate back out from under that other one. Look after it, do you hear me? It comes as seen, right? Cheerio then."
posted by Between daisies @ 7:47 am
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